How To Navigate the World as an Empath, According to a Therapist
Between depressing news cycles, hustle culture, discord in our relationships, and our personal triggers, the world can be an overwhelming place. However, for those who are empaths, the world can be an especially overwhelming place, not just because of what is happening externally around them, but because of how those things make them feel internally.
We spoke to a mental health expert about the signs and traits that make someone an empath, how empaths can protect their energy and set healthy boundaries with others, and what common triggers they should avoid.
But first, what is an empath?
Before we go into navigating the world as an empath, it’s important to know what traits make someone one. An empath is someone who not only feels emotions deeply but also takes on other people’s emotions as their own. According to Kristen Routh, licensed marriage and family therapist and certified mental health integrative medicine provider in private practice, “Empaths are typically very cued into non-verbal communication, including posture, body language, and facial expression. They can also experience sudden, overwhelming emotions when around others that at times can be difficult to contain or express in a healthy way.” If you feel like how you experience emotions goes beyond just being sensitive and in tune with others, you may be an empath.
Routh also believes that whether people are born empaths or learn to be empaths is debatable. “What science reveals is that people who demonstrate high levels of empathy also tend to have active mirror neurons in the brain, which are responsible for picking up on emotional cues from others and determining what others might be expressing, thinking, or feeling.” She explains that neural networks between people are designed to interact so that we can better understand others and perceive their emotions as being different from our own. “Our neural networks are meant to interact with other people's neural networks, so empathy can essentially be taught and learned. Since true empathy involves knowing your own feelings to better understand the feelings of others, learning about your own emotional expression in relation to those around you can help build empathy. We can use our own feelings to help us relate to what others might be feeling.”
One last way of checking to see if you’re an empath is to recognize the difference between being one and simply having empathy for others. Routh says that most people can feel empathy since it is an innate characteristic that allows us to relate to and connect with others, but it comes down to what is intuitive. “Empaths have a great capacity for empathy, however, empaths tend to not rely only on external cues to understand another person's experiences, but have an innate ability to sense others' feelings. The main difference between having empathy and being an empath is that the feeling of empathy needs an external trigger, such as someone talking about an overwhelming topic, whereas being an empath is more intuitive and subconscious. Empaths merely need to ‘feel’ someone else's energy to know what they are experiencing without having to fully engage with the other person.”
4 Tips For Navigating the
World as an Empath
1. Learn How To Set Healthy Boundaries
Everyone can benefit from setting boundaries in their relationships with others and with themselves, but empaths especially enjoy the freedom that boundary-setting offers. Routh recommends that empaths limit their time with those they tend to find triggering or draining. “It’s a sign of respect for the self and the other person since empaths can have more productive but shorter interactions with others rather than becoming overwhelmed and withdrawing during longer interactions.” She also recommends giving consent for conversations you’re not emotionally prepared to handle, noting that “it’s a good way to express to someone that you are not able to fully receive what they are wanting to say, yet you value the conversation and will be more apt to receive the message in the future.”
2. Avoid Common Triggers for Empaths
Empaths need to be especially mindful of what triggers them to avoid feeling overwhelmed, because as Routh says, “They are aware and sensitive to others on a subconscious level.” She adds, “Physical touch and physical proximity can influence how an empath receives energy. Specific people and situations can also cause greater emotional responses than others, and empaths can learn to pace themselves and hold good boundaries with time and commitment during what are known to be more triggering interactions.”
3. Practice Empath-Friendly Self-Care
Routh recommends that empaths most importantly become confident in recognizing and naming their own emotions, where they stem from, and how they appear as it “empowers the person to be able to potentially distinguish their own emotions from others’.” Self-care for empaths also looks like knowing what can trigger an emotional reaction, and Routh points out that things like too much caffeine, a lack of sleep, and hormonal shifts could all be to blame. She recommends keeping a journal to record daily moods and emotions as it can be helpful in making connections between those big feelings and external triggers. She also advocates that “taking time to recharge, limiting screen time, unplugging from social media, and allowing yourself to be quiet in a serene environment without overstimulation is essential to help balance emotional overwhelm.”
4. Protect Your Energy
As an empath, learning how to protect your energy is crucial for your mental health and well-being. Routh explains that to do so, empaths must first take ownership of how they respond to the external factors that influence their feelings and behaviors. She recommends the following coping tools to effectively manage the energy that is absorbed and process it in healthy ways.
Routh strongly recommends learning to be both receptive and controlled as you process external energy. She says, “One way of doing this is having curiosity about how the other person is expressing themselves and their motives for discussing the topic, without allowing the topic itself to be the main focal point at first.”
Try “shielding” to avoid sensory overload. “Shielding is another technique where an empath visualizes themselves being protected by white light, a bubble, armor, etc., that deflects any negative feelings or overwhelming emotions that are being projected onto the empath by others,” Routh says.
Use grounding to get back in touch with your mind and body when you start to feel heightened emotions. “Grounding techniques used before, during, and after discussions with others are also useful. Planting the feet on the floor, consciously breathing, and checking in with body sensations can help empaths to stay present and focused and retain healthy energy.”
Kristen Routh is a multi-state licensed marriage and family therapist, certified mental health integrative medicine provider, and doctoral candidate in sport and performance psychology. Kristen is also a nationally certified personal trainer, group fitness instructor, and mind-body fitness educator. She is a clinical fellow with the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists and treats a wide range of mental health and performance-related issues. Her education in exercise science and sport psychology combined with personal experience in competitive athletics and fitness enables her to help athletes, first responders, and military service members hone their mental training skills.
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